How long, now, have we waited for this one time, those three letters – M.A.Y. For months, *this* month has been lingering out there in the future, hanging over us, holding our future in in the minutes of it’s sixteenth day.
When I wrote it out for the first time yesterday, I couldn’t believe that we are down to counting the days – again. It used to be three months out, now it’s only fourteen days. This time around, it feels both more and less momentous than getting results back in November. It definitely means more to me. The people who pass the first time around can’t really appreciate the gift they’ve received. I couldn’t appreciate the enormity of what it would be like to finally have my Esq. But, at the same time, I’m over it – to an extent. I’m over letting a test determine my future. I’m done with waiting for some score to dictate the options for my career. I just want to *KNOW* so that I can move on with my life.
Thanks for your blog . . . I feel like these blogs help me maintain a connection to people that can relate to the stress of being a repeater . . . who else can relate to the stress of wondering whether we can stay at our job after results, or where the stream of money is going to come from that we may or may not need in order to pay for the bar, pay for a bar review, pay for our bills during the time that we take off from work to study, and the bills that are due after the bar is over. It is such a nightmare AND a setback. It just nice to commiserate with people. Bur really in the end it is best to just remain positive and balanced. Easier said than done.
By: Alan on May 2, 2008
at 12:48 pm
You are almost there! I wish you peace as you count down the days… I would be going absolutely crazy. But then again, I have NO patience whatsoever. Can’t wait to hear how it goes!!! I’ll be in SF in a couple weeks… email me so we can maybe meet up!?
By: a life uncommon on May 5, 2008
at 5:01 pm